On Male Bashing...

Imma be rude here so if you don't like it, move on...

This one goes out to all the females in the man-haters club...WE DON'T LIKE YOU EITHER! To say that men are pigs and that men are dog and we're this and that totally disrespects you more than it does us. Yes, I know, I'm probably preaching to the choir, but go with me a little on this, will you?

First off, I'm all for equality and pro-choice and the women's movement and all of that. You want equality, you've got my vote. But don't dog (no pun intended) me for being a man. I don't shit in your toilet, don't shit in mine. I don't call you a ho for using your "feminine charm" in getting out of a speeding ticket. I don't call you a bitch for beating me out of a job by using the same "feminine charm". But no...if I happen to get the job on merit and you just don't see it that way then it's descrimination.

Chivarly is dead and women killed it. I can't hold a door open for a woman anymore without the worry of being told that she can open a door for herself. Well, why don't you stand in the doorway while I slam it in your face so you can open it again? Please give me your hand and let me help you out of the car...or would you rather I just get out and go on my merry way? I'm all for dutch-minded women, but please, don't insult my being a man by not letting me pay for you. Shit, woman...it's a free meal, damn it! And NO, I don't expect anything other than a thank you and maybe a hug at the end of the night.

Yes, I will agree, there are a few lacivious dogs in the bunch. Don't blame the rest of us men if you attract them. We have an asshole detector. Yours probably just takes a little while to work...a long while. Meanwhile, thousands of wonderful men out there go unclaimed and unloved.

I see it all the time in the classified ads...

"Wanted: SWM, 25-35, at least 5'10", muscular, good-looking (a six pack would be nice), well-endowed, professional"

What I read is:

"Wanted: SWM, at least asshole, asshole (a six-pack would be nice), asshole, asshole asshole"

These are the same men who read the classified ads looking for:

"Wanted: SWF, 21-25, blond, blue eyed, fine as hell with a rack to die for"

These are the same guys you see on TV dating shows. The Bachelor and the Bachelorette are shows that are supposed to have "regular" guys. Most guys I know weren't Harvard grads, bank owners, millionaire-heirs, successful business owners and professional athletes. Mos guys I know work the grinding 9-5 hours, come home to an empty apartment only to live it up on the weekends. These men have legitimate hobbies and cannot afford the jetset lifestyle.

The cheesy men on shows like Blind Date and Elimidate...these are the average guys? NOPE. Don't think so. Sorry. I pull for the underdog guys. I pull for the guy who looks like he doesn't deserve the girl but shows the girl that he has so much more to offer her than outward appearances.

These are the real men, ladies. Hunk boy usually isn't. The iconic stars you objectify...the Brad Pitts and the Justin Timberlakes and Ben Afflecks...they are just that...icons. Unreal.

Next time you dog us, women, think of who ELSE you lump in with that stereotype.

This ain't funny.