I think it only fitting that I make fun of myself (and my people) first. If I can't laugh at myself, who am I to laugh at others, right?
I am a Filipino and I'm incredibly proud to say it. But, (now here comes the funny parts) we are some strange ass people.
1. There is a strong segment of the Filipino community (y'all know who you are) who are just straight-up ghetto-fabulous. What I mean is, when it comes to the bling...rollin' the black on chrome Benz with the limo tint, sportin' the platinum pinkie ring, hair always did, clothes always pimpin' and pressed, etc., etc...basically,you got your game down. You know how to show it. But, turn it around and you're still the same straight-out-of-the-can-Ligo-sardines eatin', Spartan tsinelas wearin', so dark-skinned you're purple, house always smelling like adobo fool. If you're going to represent or keep it real...KEEP IT REAL. Don't front.
2. You will never-EVER see a F.O.B. on Fear Factor for a couple of reasons. First, all of the shit they force you to eat...balut, bulls balls, goats eyes and the like...that's part of our recommended daily allowances. It's on our food pyramid, right below dairy. And the bugs and snakes they force you to lie around in, wouldn't scare us because even mosquitos don't want to come near our blood. That's stuff trapped WITH us in the mosquito netting at night. Second of all, all of that climbing and rappelling and shit they make you do, we can do all of that barefoot. We climb coconut trees with no ropes or spikes or anything...everyday. Third of all, we are some ugly-ass fools. Short ugly people DO NOT make it on Fear Factor. Who wants to watch some monkey looking fool when Miss February 2003 is at the point of yacking in her bikini?
3. Rice Rockets...there will never be a Filipino NASCAR or F1 champion. Our shit is just too ghetto. Your tricked out Honda Civic with the six-foot wing and dual exhausts with the 18-inch alloys are not going to get you into the circuit, no matter how many quarter-miles you do. You will also never get any Filipino-owned sponsorship either. Sure your Momo and Nismo and Pirelli and Pioneer stickers are fine. Yeah, it's great to have your car club logo on your ride too. But, in NASCAR, companies actually pay YOU to put their logo on your car and I have yet to see a car with San Miguel's Logo emblazoned all over it. I doubt I will ever see a race car with the Jolibee character on it's hood. It just ain't gonna happen. It would be funny though. I can imagine the announcer now, "Driving the blue number 6 Goldilocks car, from Panggasinan, Philippines, Magtanggol 'Manny' Balosbalos." There will be more on this topic in future additions to this blog.
That's just my 2 cents for today.
Ain't it funny?
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