The Fourth of July

What's up with this holiday? Okay, let me preface by saying I am as patriotic as the next guy. I'm cool with putting all the flags up and the red white and blue and America this and America that. I'm proud to be an American. What I don't get is why this holiday has suddenly become the barbecue weekend? Suddenly, this day has people thinking, "You know, I think I want to put some meat over a flame. I've been dying all winter to do that. Why not wait until the 4th of July?" I'm sure Kingsford and Charbroil and Weber and cattle farmers all see a huge jump in sales right around the holiday. The thing that gets me is the meaning behind the barbecues and the reason for the holiday. We celebrate because we are free, but it seems people just see it as a day off of work so that we can eat OUTSIDE.

Another thing is the fireworks. Seems this is the only time we can see fireworks in America unless you go to Disneyland or celebrate Chinese New Year. People spend thousands of dollars on elaborate shows of fireworks that shoot up in the sky and explode into beautiful falling blooms of various hues and styles. I always find it funny how people are never sure if and when the show is over. People hang and wait just that few extra minutes just in case there's a final finale. The show has this big flourish of explosives and then it stops for a bit and everyone is looking at each other, "Are they done? Is that it?" And then, boom, more fireworks and we cheer...just like Pavlov's dogs. We're all just a bunch of idiots, aren't we?

I find it funny too that school band boosters and football boosters and the chess and debate teams and the like can sell fireworks within a given community to make money yet those same fireworks are illegal to use in the same community. What the fuck is up with that? That's like seeing a beautiful naked lady lying on your bed in your room, getting naked yourself, and then just standing there, not doing anything. Why, because you can't...it's illegal. It don't make sense! It's the dumbest thing I've ever heard. What makes it even funnier is the fact that on the outside walls of the fireworks vendors stalls are big banners clearly stating that fireworks are illegal in that community. You can have it...but you can't use it here.

Ain't it funny?